All the little things.
18 July 2007Sometimes, all the thinking I do pays off.
It’s kind of weird how, you spend a disproportionate amount of your life believing one thing, only to be surprised by something that is the opposite. This happened recently, and I am still reeling a bit from it. The fact that its a little detail, a bit of the minutiae that comprises life really is not relevant.
So, when I chanced upon the discovery of someone who was genuinely interested in things because those things interested me, I was a bit taken aback. I had never encountered that before. Oh, people feign interest sometimes out of social politeness, or because it’s a nice thing to do for someone because you enjoy their company. But that usually amounts to lip service in one form or another.
I have never encountered it on the level of someone actually remembering details, and intelligently commenting weeks after the fact, about some thing or idea I was working on. So, it’s definitely new to me. And it’s definitely interesting and pleasing to see and to feel.
So, you know, here I am, midday…drinking coffee and my thought process is consumed with all the little things. And, I do have alot of little things to think about. My mom has been a bit more under the weather than usual, I have been dealing with work related things, trying to separate myself from consulting, as I hold no passion for it anymore, getting ready for a very important camping trip with Selph, and generally trying to stay ahead in a world where things pop out to try to drag you down.
Damien has been invaluable to me, in terms of listening to my private little thoughts. Seraph has been invaluable to me in going the extra mile to give me some much needed downtime the last couple weeks. Selphie…well, she’s always there for me. My brother is also a bit of a shining star the last month or two. It’s amazing how much he has grown in the last 4 months. He was always a bit nerve wracked by the stresses of being alive. Worrying about dollars when only nickels and dimes are at stake. He’s calmed down a bit, and has actually begun to focus alot more. Which is good. He has an enormous amount of raw talent, and if he can attain a little more clarity of thought, he has the chance to be a rolling storm of creativity.
But, time will help that as much as anything else.
And, finally…my pal Emily over at “Be a Human Being” is having some issues with her social angst. Emily: I completely understand how you feel. I really do. Ive had those moments before, and I know…dont sweat it. And when you think you’re some kind of weirdo for not wanting to indulge in the whole cliche girl stereotype behavior…just consider Calvin:
on July 18th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
HA! Of course you’re exactly right. I think the lesson the universe repeatedly tries to teach me is: “Stop being such a fucking spaz.” We’re all a little bit nutty, ya know?
on July 18th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
We are all spazsticks. But perhaps you should consider you are not such a spaz after all. I mean, to be honest, a spaz is someone who *reacts* to a situation, without much thought. Reactions are based on instinct, rather than any serious consideration.
Clearly, you have a valid thought process behind your actions. You’ve thought about it. The ring orgy does not trip your trigger. And you have a valid reason why.
It’s times like these, where I point out: Im normal, the rest of the world is fucked up. =)
Just my $0.02, mon amie.