Crowd Control.

5 May 2008

Written by: Duo Posted under Stupidity, People, Personal

I don’t mind crowds so much as I detest idiotic people in large quantities.

The issue comes to bear primarily when I grocery shop. I honestly believe that a lot of people are pretty considerate when they shop, but there seems to be a growing majority of people who have zero clue as to how they should behave when performing this activity.

1) Parents.

There are some parent’s, like one mom I saw on Saturday, who are just generally worn down from raising really active children. They do their best to manage their kids, fighting uphill all the way. While their kids are a pain to maneuver around, I generally don’t mind, because at least an effort is being made. The other type of parent, the one I really cannot stand one iota…are the type who do nothing to manage their children, and said kids thinks the grocery aisle’s are a free for all. Their kids dart to and fro, in front of your cart, stand in the way…it’s also worth mentioning, these are also typically the type who would sue you if you ran into their precious little snowflake with your cart. I had what looked like a 2 year old run right in front of my cart, with mom not even paying attention. She had walked ahead into the frozen food aisle, back turned while her daughter streamed in front of me. Before anyone says anything: I am a parent. I have the right to comment. My kid has always been well behaved in public places, because I actually parent, and manage my child. I reward good behavior, and set up negative consequences for incorrect behavior. And, most importantly, I always know where my child is. HINT FOR THE DENSE MINDED: THIS IS HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK.

2) The committee’s.

We all know who these folks are. These are the people who congregate and conversate in the following places:

* Right inside the entrance.
* Right inside the exit.
* In the narrowest aisle of the store.
* Any other place they can fill with their inane discussion.

You want to talk? Catch up? Do it outside. Or better yet, call them on the damned phone. In the words of Ben Affleck in “Mallrats”, I have no respect for people without a shopping agenda. Holding court in the soup aisle is not acceptable. You people are idiots, and you should be grabbed by the nape of the neck, and dragged out of the store and hurled into traffic. You are 50% of the reason why shopping sucks. I can see why my mother always went shopping at 1 AM.

3) The Inspectors.

Another group that needs to be dragged to the toy aisle, and beaten with wiffle ball bats. These are the folks who pace the meat and poultry coolers. Picking up this, looking at that. And they cannot make up their damned mind. You cant get to anything because they are moving up and down the cooler, and you cannot seem to predict their actions..it’s easier to just wait until they move on. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for looking at meat and taking a good look before you buy. However, I would ask you add a little coherency to your process. Pick beef or poultry, stay in that area until you have made your selection, then move to the other.

4) People who think they are more clever than they actually are in the parking lots.

Here is a tip: if the parking lot is near full, pulling through two spaces to jump to the other side makes you an idiot who annoys the absolute shit out of everyone else on the planet. In a full parking lot, you have to accept two things:

* There are no shortcuts to get to that space that just opened the other aisle over.
* There is no quick way to get out of the lot and onto the street.

Just follow the damned arrows, and stop trying thinking your some parking lot wizard. You’re a moron, and you need to die in a fire.

That’s about it. Just had to document the frustration that drove me to leave the grocery store when I was only about 80% done with my shopping, because all of these groups converged and annoyed the absolute crap out of me. I couldnt stand it anymore.

Meh.

Current Mood:
Annoyed emoticon Annoyed